Athletic Prowess

Now I'm not one to bragg. Mmmm. Apparently I am.

Start again.

Hey, I love to bragg. I'm not even sure how you spell brag? How dumb is that.

Anyway, I thought I'd post this to make up for Mr Kings poor showing.

So....

I go swimming a lot now. Being told I had life threatening high blood pressure (well, actually the doc said I was a bit lardy) has really forced me to do something about it.

So I swim a lot. I go to one of the Community pools. It's nice, but there's no real competitive swimmers there, so I'm (basically) the best. None of those fat, old, chinks are even close. No offence.

Tonight, I dive in and get to work. Out of interest, I can generally churn out about 80 lengths of an evening. Read it and weep - 80!!! I am a God!

I've done about 10 lengths, all freestyle (crawl in limey-speak) when I start to realise that there is this guy in the next lane doing pretty much the same level of work as me. I figure he'll tire pretty soon so think nothing of it and keep going (I normally rest every 10 lenghts).

But he doesn't. 20 lengths into it and I'm starting to need a breather, but this guy is still pounding up and down the pool.

At 30 lengths I'm dying but my pride (as Lord of the Community Pool) keeps me going. A few lengths later I just have to stop, defeated.

Gasping for air, I look over to catch a glimpse of my Nemesis. And then I realise, there's three guys in the next lane. THEY WERE TAKING IT IN TURNS.

Wankers.