Extreme Blogging!

That's what I'm into now.

Go to someone else's blog, copy their last entry, paste it into your own blog, instant interesting life!!

It's brilliant.

One little rant though. I need A4 paper. I really do. So I (when I say I, I mean I Shirley) ring up some office supply places to get some.

"A4? What's that?"
"A4? Is that the same as Legal?"
"A4? What do you want that for?"
"A4? Isn't that from Europe in France?"
etc, etc.

Basically, you can't get it. Full stop.

My plan is to buy Legal (which is bigger) and cut it down to size. So I get her to ring the biggest places to ask "Do you have a guillotine service?"

"I've no idea what a guillotine is" is the first reply.

The second was more interesting though. The guy didn't know what a guillotine was. So shirley explained about wanting A4 and that Legal was a little larger, so we'd just reduce Legal down to size through the use of a guillotine.

The man became confused at this point, thinking we wanted to put Legal into a photocopier and have it somehow 'shrink' down to A4 size. He wasn't sure the photocopier could do that but he'd check. And, putting the laws of physics to one side, apparently they can do this. That's a f**king good photocopier.

But he suggests it will probably be cheaper to just buy a pack of legal and use their cutting machine to trim it. No shit sherlock!

I'll have to lie down now.

What a day!

S woke up sick this morning at the women's retreat. So I got to drive to Edmonton to go fetch her and her stuff. She thinks it's because of the way she slept last night. It turns out that she really needs to be sleeping propped up at an angle. But last night some of her bedding, which was in someone else's car, arrived late, and she couldn't prop herself up quite right. Also dinner was a little late and S forgot to take her digestive enzymes.Our bed here at home is raised about eight inches at the head. This helps put the body at a better angle for digestion. In fact, this something many gastroenterologists suggest for treating acid reflux disease (GERD). I've had undiagnosed acid reflux myself but my own symptoms have disappeared since I modified the bed. Cool!Anyway, S hasn't really had much of a problem since we left Prescott. A few hours ago she had a fever of 100.7 and was a little dehydrated. Our nurse friend, D, told her to get some fluids in her. So far, so good. S is sleeping comfortably in the recliner.

Later

Today, I was awarded a Traffic Violation Prize

So, I'm coming down 97 Street which is actually 7 lanes wide which makes it more than a dual carriageway but less than a freeway. You may ask why 7 lanes? Well, the middle lane goes towards the city in the morning rush hour and away from the city in the evening.

And I'm in the right most lane (remember: we drive on the right) thinking, god, this lane is totally empty but there's practically gridlock in the other lanes. Why don't the schmucks use this lane?

And then I can see this copper up ahead waving to me. So I wave back and then realise, he wants to 'chat'. I think about putting my foot down but instead, I pull into this concealed lay-by where there are 5 cop cars (which over here are big 6 litre monsters) all with their engines purring. Doing a runner might have been a bad move.

So, apparently, I was in a 'Bus Lane' whatever that means in English. And 2 minutes and $115 later I'm free to go.

I have to say that, unlike the IOM, paying fines here is strongly 'encouraged'. The nice policeman helpfully pointed out the various amounts on the ticket using his laser targeted sidearm.

Ironically, after all this, the right lane was still totally empty and the others were still grid locked. So, all in all, I think I still made time. Result!

Warning - The word "Tits" is used in this post

But only in the title, so you're safely past it now.

Sorry for not posting but I've been soooo busy (actually I did write a big post last week but it never 'published', neither did my various comments on AH, PB or PKs blogs).

Anyway, as you know, I'm doing more OU this year (Science). I thought Science, that sounds interesting. Volcanoes, Earthquakes, the Big Bang, Origins of Life, how can that be anything other than scintillating? I guess I was sort of picturing: "This is skippy the Dolphin, he's a mammal, not a fish. See Skippy swim. Fish have gills. Please colour in the pictures of Skippy and his friends in your favourite colours"

What I didn't expect was:"The Division of Quantum Electrodynamics and the Weak Interaction during the Hadron Era. Summarize in 3400-3600 words."

So there are 8 marked assignments. And you have to score an average of 40% to get a bare pass. So I scored 80, 84 & 84 in the first 3 assignments. I get Excel out and figure I just need two more scores of 36 to pass. Which means I can safely skip the middle three assignments and just do so-so on the last two.

Then I find out (recently) that you have to score a 40% average on the first four and a 40% average on last four. Which puts a different complexion on things. So now, the last two need 80% scores, not 36%. And, of course, these two rely heavily on stuff from things learnt during the middle phase.

Fook!

So, I've been working all hours at my PC for the past few weeks with my porn download to study ratio down to an all time low of 5:1. Go on, ask me a question about Quarks or Leptons (or Sylvia Saint).

I now know I got 72% on penultimate assignment; the last one has been sent off on Monday (thankyou Mr King). So that final one better be a stormer. So now I can relax (well, I have to finish off my overall project but that's not too hard).

And now my work are very interested in me becoming Microsoft Certified (we get a big shiny Microsoft Placque if they've got 3 inhouse MCSDs or something). Wahay, more work.

Life is a big lump of potatoes chopped up and put in very hot animal extract before having fermented curd and brown water draped on top.

Chips, cheese and Gravy - ooh yes please.

Happy Birthday to Me!

And a round of drinks for all of you.

My goodness, I don't post blogs often do I? I'm up to my eyeballs in study at the mo' and work is now quite interesting/demanding.

Actually, I'm now trying out all that OOP/API stuff I've read about but never used. My programs look like something out of a reference book (For the programmers among you, my latest love is Dlls with Callbacks into the host program). You see, my colleagues don't know I'm a useless twat; in fact, I'm sure they think I'm another Maksym - "no, no, you want to enumerate that, tosser".

The fact that they don't know what a "tosser" is only makes it funnier, they think it means "me old mucker".

Although the word "wanker" is in their vocabulary which did catch me out.

Actually, they're a pretty good bunch. For example; Friday afternoons, the bosses go home at 3. At 3:05, all work stops. Then everyone goes up the back of the office and has a beer (or 2 or 3).

Now there's an interesting thing. Drink driving in Canada doesn't have the same stigma as the IOM (unluckly Mr Barlow). People have about 3 bottles and then drive home, no problem. They all think I'm stuck up coz I won't drink at all.

Stuck up? Wait till they see me when I'm not driving "come on everyone, let's get naked!!!!"

Phlegm