My Cananadadian Vacation

Welcome to Part 1 of my vacation. Fun though it was, I don't think I could eat a whole one.

So without any further ado....

...we started off at 6am one cold dark damp monday morning.

"6am?" you say "Wow that's early. Are you serious?".
"Yes", I reply "6am. And I'm totally serious".

Actually, no. It was more like 7am, 6am is just stupid. Who seriously leaves the house at that time of the morning? You'd die or something.

[map to follow]
Journey: Edmonton - Jasper - Lake Louise - Sicamous - Kelowna
Distance: 1100 kms
Elapsed Time: 13.5 hours
Conversation Choices:
a. Shirley (drivel)
b. the girls (absolute drivel)
c. Nick (utter drivel)
Note: And it's "drivel" not "dribble".

This is us starting off (note the bicycle, it figures later in the vacation)



This is the sprogs raring to go (5 mins later the 3 of them were snoring like pig-dogs)



This is where we had our lunch. Tara was in swimming, hence her absence from the pic.

(click me)

This is where we did our business. It should be mentioned that when you're 500 miles from the nearest sewerage system, a flushing toilet is not an option. The flash photography really doesn't bring home that the drop from the enamel fixture to the 'collection area' is at least 20 feet. That's Canadian ingenuity for you. In some of the higher class resorts you actually shit into an Abyss. (important note: the message left in this latrine is NOT the work of any of the MY family)



This is me driving the car. Jeezuz I've got a big nose!



This is a very beautiful lake in Alberta. And yes, I really took this pic.
(click me)

This is a reasonably okay lake in British Columbia.


This is us hitting the swimming pool at about 9pm. This picture was took using the camera timer as I was already pissed in the bar.


And this is our destination.


Tomorrow, you get to see me going topless!!!

In the absence of other news...

...read this.

I came into work this morning, as usual. As I live in the latest part of the World according to GMT (i.e. after UK, after Oz, after Bingbongistan) I expect to have emails to read. You've all been up all day and really should have missed me enough to pen a witticism.

However, this morning there was nothing. Not a sauage. Not even any spam email to tittilate.

"That's okay" I think, "I'll just read Pauls blog". Mmmm, also hasn't been updated.

I've swooped.

Don't know why I wrote that.

Latest news: really struggling to get you Nick back into a jolly old manx school. So that could be a big problem. I shaved my legs last night as I have a few end-of-season races coming up. It's been raining here non-stop all week. But it's picking up today. Had the car fixed yesterday (on a manufacturers recall - just like Fight Club). And I won't be in work all next week.

So, as a special treat, here's a photo of my sprogs enjoying canada, oh canada.




Me and Phoebe at a lake





Tara going to school (note the lack of school uniform)

A nice pic

With our re-arrival on the Isle of Man imminent, I thought I'd share a pic with you all. I feel this is required coz I know you all think that we only moved to Ramsey.


This was taken in lovely Banff. Now I know the date on the bottom says 2002 but that's just coz I'd replaced the batteries in the camera and hadn't reset the date. Come on, we didn't live here then. And does Tara look 3? She looks very concerned about something, but not 3.

I went to the last bicycle race of the season last night. Unfortunately, it was rained off. Which is fine except it was 50k to the east of here. Why does everything have to be sooooo far away? You see, in the Isle of Man, we all live in the same shoebox. It smells a little, but at least it's cozy.

Oh Happy Days!!!

Just thought I should mention that, despite the way it may seem, we have absolutely no intention of ever leaving Canada and moving back to the Rock.

The dream is still alive!!

The fact that today (Friday) I'm gonna tell my boss to shove his job up his ass and that the removals company are booked for the fall (autumn) is merely due to a silly phase I'm going through.

On saying all that, yesterday (Thursday) was, like, totally awesome (that's how I talk now).

Work was pretty boring so I said 'to hell with this' and went for a lovely walk through the countryside with my good friend, Larry (see below).




Larry is a wonderful guy and only wears the very best underpants (which he always shows me) and he loves to sing to me, even though I hate it. But the day, which was going really well, was ruined when the 'Peanut Butter' issue yet again reared it's ugly head.

On other news, I thought I'd list my pet-hates:

Cheap stickytape
One-ply toilet paper
My job
Everyone I work with
Everything I work on
My desk
My bloody chair

But most of all, people who steal donuts!

Colonel Pepper

Working in Canada

Just in case anyone thought I was exaggerating about my workplace experiences in Canada, here is a photo of one of the saner people I work with (this photo was taken at our recent Charity BBQ Luncheon recently in aid of Really Tall Swedes (RaTS).





This person goes by the mysterious pseudonym of 'L' (but is infact called Gunther Strange-backgammon) and usually hides out in the Stationery Cupboard, sometimes leaping out on unsuspecting clients and pelting them with powdered milk.

Hmmmm.

Food - the food of the Gods

So I thought I'd start writing my Blog again. Why not? (That's rhetorical, I don't want answers)

It's been a tough couple of weeks.

My Mom went back to Oz. Shirls Mom+Dad went back to Blighty, the only person I spoke to at work moved to a new job and my cat died.

Actually, I don't have a job. I mean cat.

(Sidenote: I used to have a cat when I was a boy (as opposed to being a girl). It was called Tagger. It was really called Tiger but my mum is from Northern Ireland so I thought she was saying Tagger.)

And we're now facing the ominous task of un-flitting across the Atlantic to continue with an old life.

I'm looking forward to the following:

1. Singapore Fried Rice and Curry Sauce with chips from the New Hong Kong takeaway.
2. Driving to work in less than 6 minutes.
3. A proper Indian take-away
4. Roads with up/down and corners
5. Chips, cheese and gravy from the Terrace.
6. Speed limits higher than a unwell dog with one paw nailed to a tree.

In summary, I think it's mostly the food and the driving that I miss.

Oh, and the people (I suppose). Especially work places with interesting people!

Although, the other day in work we had a great laugh. We were trying to figure out the Gross Margin Percentage on the Project Revenue and we couldn't figure out whether it was Margin divided by the Gross or the Margin divided by the Cost!!! Can you believe that?

Oh, how we laughed. I nearly wet myself.

...I guess you had to be there.

Oh please, someone, send me airline tickets!!!

Yours sincerely

Mr. Coppermine